Defying the Obvious

No, I am not talking about today's date.


Let's talk about the heat instead!


I really do like the heat. I don't really do anything above 93 degrees (barring 98 degrees of course) because at that point I think the major systems start shutting down. I like the sweating and the licks of fire you can kinda feel on your skin. Plus I mean TALK about the season my wardrobe was coordinated for....well I mean if you want to get specific due to the light materials and prominence of floral prints it's probably spring but technically its not summer yet just...99 degrees out today.


Here's the snag with the whole sweltering situation.


Well there are two but black leather interior just calls to be so 3rd degree ass burns are a price I must pay.


Let's talk about real burn.


So I don't know if you suffer from this phenomenon but if I walk more than like 6 paces my thighs have formed some Congo-esque atmospheric conditions. I mean like UNCOMFORTABLE.

So the burning has commenced. Okay, what to do? Chances are this is happening to you not in the comfort of your own home but rather en route to a location and perhaps this voyage is only the beginning of your day!


Enter the John Wayne walk. You don't want the thighs to touch so you have to waddle a bit (which can be really awk if you have some big ole thighs because I mean a little "just got off a horse" walk is cool but people will start looking if you look as though you tried to do the splits but realized that you are bulky and awkward about half the way down.


I figured that this phenomenon was suffered by myself and the other fatties only (I found out some normies also suffer) but the enemy was given a name when a chick I was talking to oh so eloquently referred to the event as, get this,




chub rub



Let's think about that again.


chub rub


There are a lot of ways to describe the fat.....but chub is not among my favorites.

fuck you, chub rub.



There is no climax to that story I just wanted to tell you about that literally quite horrendous name for skin irritation. Huzzah!