This one time at a bar...

I used to frequent the Silverlake bar, The Short Stop, weekly for their Soul Nights because it's one of the few kinds of music that make being unsuspectedly "taken from the rear."

One of said nights, me and my friends are "cutting a rug" aka the slightest form of a twist looped for about 2 hrs (pepper in spins for the bravest)

A gentleman dressed in vans, cut-off dickie's, a short sleeve button down shirt, pyramid studded belt and spiked hair. He was also a fatty.

He grooves up to me and the conversation goes like this....

Suitor: "I'm the big bad wolf and I'm going to blow your house down"

Me: "Well I'm a brick house"

Suitor: "Yeah? Well I'm going to piss on your doorstep"

Me: "Yeah? Well I'm going to shit on your face"

Thus endeth the conversation.

And I am single....

Another chapter in the waxing chronlicles

So it has been well established that people say things to me that typically don't get said to others. It must be something with pheromones.

This isn't exclusive of any location, regardless of how appropriate.

Waxing.

So I go in to have my lawn manicured, if you will and all, it should be mentioned, at a salon called Pink Cheeks which is the waxing salon to the (porn) STARS!

They finish with the top area and the lady politely asks me to flip over on my elbows and knees and "spread" myself with my hands.

I flip over and "assume the position."

Not the one they asked me to, interestingly enough.

Back story (oblig.) I used to sleep with my shoulders, face and knees on the floor/bed and ass way up in the air. It was and still is very comfortable.

Back at Pink Cheeks, I head into this position and proceed to finish with the final step when the lady goes...

"No need to do that, your body just opens naturally"

My response?

"Well THAT is a compliment"

(adding to resume....)

That is all.

Hope you feel better about your life now, I think that's really my form of community service.